Jacob Da Jew

Sonograms are the new Frum Porn!

2012-01-15T22:31:00.001-05:00

This is so messed up!

I'll paste the post here as the lakewood scoop page loads really slow.

Schools Ask Parents To Dispose Of Magazine Featuring Inappropriate Content This Week

Jan 13 2012 11:43 am

PHOTO: Schools are asking parents to dispose of a magazine they feel is inappropriate for children to be reading this week. The Magazine, Jewish World of Wonders, ‘Exploring the universe through insights of Torah’ features this week pictures of sonograms and more, which schools feel should not be available to children.
At least one school today sent out an automated message asking parents to immediately discard the material.
The magazine is usually delivered with other Frum circulars. TLS-CCP/NB-RH/SH26

http://www.thelakewoodscoop.com/news/2012/01/schools-ask-parents-to-dispose-of-magazine-featuring-inappropriate-content-this-week.html

Someone, PLEASE, explain to me what exactly is wrong with a frickin sonogram?????

VaYigash Yehudah

2011-12-29T22:41:00.000-05:00

As is my custom in the last 4 years, I'll be read Revii and HaMishi in this week's Parasha at my shul. Its my bar-mitzvah parasha.....I find it so appropriate on a personal level- this parasha is about confronting and overcoming challenges in life, something I've had my fair share of.

VaYigash Yehudah. Take a stand. Been there, done that and it does pay off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Its been a while since I posted. Things have changed for me, mainly that my growing family and work
demand more of my atention.

Still read the various blogging stalwarts still posting such as Frum Satire, DovBear, Jameel,LifeInIsrael and others.

Anyways, its my 30th birthday Sat night.

Its kinda scary turning that number, leaving behind the roaring twenties. Feels like yesterday I was whooping it up at my 21st bash with my best friends Topp Dogg and KB.

Its all good though. Loving wife, great kids, great friends, good job. Baruch HaShem.

Thanks for listening!

Wanted: Small Fridge

2011-07-18T19:50:00.000-04:00

Anyone have a small fridge, 33" tall or so for sale or free? I'll pick it up anywhere in Brooklyn or NYC.

R.I.P. Spirit

2011-06-05T16:48:00.000-04:00

Snoopy has the scoopy. Spirit, intrepid rover on Mars, has officially kicked the bucket.

This, along with the news that NASA is wrapping up their space shuttle program, saddens me immensely.

It looks likely that private industry will now be responsible for further flights into space. Its not as if NASA did a good job till now but still.

I'm a huge fan of science fiction and the way things are going, looks like Ben Bova had the right idea. He posited that the major advaces into space will be from private industry. The problem with that is it becomes a 100% profit driven venture and safety can take a backseat at times.

I dont know about you but I sometimes wish I can hop on a shuttle and leave this crowded (6,775,235,700 people plus ) planet behind.

If I had $200,000 lying around, I would put a deposit on the Virgin shuttle and reserve a seat into outer space.

Until then...my local library, a solid scifi book and a comfy sofa will have to suffice.

Flatbush Takeout Closes!

2011-04-01T08:36:00.001-04:00

Flatbush Takeout on Coney Island Ave has closed!

Such terrible news. It will sorely be missed.

Many solid pieces of kugel have been enjoyed there. I will also miss Nicky, the none-Jew worker, who spoke better Yiddish than many of us and knew all the important Yortzeits. We always had a good shmooze.

I have no firm details why it closed. Oy.

Pomegranate got nothing on these guys.

New Blog!

2011-03-07T20:01:00.001-05:00

I'll get right to it.

I've started blogging again!

Click here to see the new izzle. And comment.

Yo yo yo

2010-10-25T12:01:00.000-04:00

Wow....

Knock knock knock..Anyone home?

Lemme see if my key to this here blog still works.. yes, it does.

*blows dust off da blog*

*cracks knuckles*

So...why the long hiatus, Jacob?

Well, I think its due to Twitter. I usually blogged as a form of social networking and Twitter has proved more effective in that sense. I do miss blogging a bit as its a better way to impart ideas .

If you're on Twitter and would like to connect, follow me at http://twitter.com/jacobdajew

I've become more of a lurker, still following the 90 plus blogs that I've always liked.

Might start blogging more often now that I bought a Smartphone. We'll have to see.

Shall I?

This One is Special

2010-02-11T23:06:00.001-05:00

Life is about quality, not quantity. You can buy me a warehouse full of fresh baked bread and this little loaf of challah would mean more to me.

Its because my little princess made it just for me. She called it "Pizza for Daddy", doused it in sesame seeds and served it for dinner.

And Life Is Good.

p.s. baking Challah is the perfect activity for a snow day.

Belated Birthday Bizness

2010-02-08T20:20:00.001-05:00

Have no fear,'Da Jew is still here. I'm sure y'all were oh so worried where I disappeared to, based on all the (none-existent) emails received.

Anyways....

Another year passed and it wuz time for the grand ole celebration: my birthday!

This birthday, people have been especially generous to me.

D.S. got me a great cake from Chiffon's Bakery, Topp Dawg sent me some Dale & Thomas Popcorn and my ex-neighbors LFD and Gilmour hooked me up with a bottle of Tequila and 2 CDs of Cannonball Adderly and Charles Mingus. Yum!

We had a Friday night bash with spiked punch (once a year Da Wife prepares that) and lots of homies showed up like LFD and Co., EE and Co, and Child Ish. Many thanks for coming as it wuz mad cold!

Da Wife got me an amazing gift which deserves a post of its own...stay tuned!

The Quest is over......

2009-12-30T08:08:00.000-05:00

The search, quest, whatever you want to call it. It's ovah.

Da Gurlie has been accepted to a great school!

We've been to 2 schools since this post. The first one was absolutely brutal and nasty like the others. The second school interview went very well and we received a letter of acceptance yesterday.

It actually turned out for the better as her new school is close by, enabling us to save on transportation costs.

We are happy to put this harrowing experience behind us.

To those schools who rejcted my daughter simply because she doesn't fit the cookie-cutter mold, go fluck yourselves.

Full credit should be given to Da Wife who persevered and did not settle for anything less than the best for our daughter.

Whoopee!

Death of the Blog-Roll

2009-12-28T22:15:00.000-05:00

How things have changed.

Used to be, quite a few hits and page-views were from other bloggers "Blogrolls". Not so lately.

Now, with the widespread use of Google Reader and other RSS feeds, blog rolls are almost extinct.

Used to be, in order to check up on a fellas blog, you needed to check in every so often. Not anymore. The instant someone posts, it shows up in my feed and I can usually skim right through the content. I might only click through to the page if I wanted to comment or see other comments.

I now view my Blogroll more ornamental rather than a functional tool for my blog. People on my blogroll are definitely in my Reader and are considered "Noteworthy".

Naturally, my hit count is down. Is my message still getting out? What is more important, meaningless hits or people reading your material? Obviously, the readers.

Your Thoughts ? Is your blogroll more or less meaningful lately?

Special Mazal Tov....

2009-12-26T21:19:00.000-05:00

Special Mazal Tov & Mabrook #1 to Lion of Zion, Mrs. LOZ and Jr. on the birth of a baby girl.

Special Mazal & Mabrook #2 to my good friends Child Ish and Mak on their engagement to...each other! Child Ish and Mak were honored guests in my home a few weeks ago and they "mak" a great couple.

Jewish Music Bloggers Awards

2009-12-23T21:41:00.001-05:00

Received a couple of emails that I am invited to post some thoughts about the Jewish Music Awards.

I am honored to be included in the same company as Chaim Rubin, Gruntig, Jewish Blogmeister and other illustrious Jewish Music Bloggers.

Wow. However....

People who know me, and that includes longtime readers, remember that I'm not a huge fan of Jewish Music.

But I do have my favorites.

So after the text from JMR pasted below, I'll share some views. People are welcome to say whatever they want in the comment section. Anonymous comments are welcome too, just assign a handle to yourself so we know whom to bash back ;)

From JMR:

Last year, YK of jmusicforum.blogspot.com organized a Jewish Music Bloggers Awards where he gave both his readers and several Jewish music bloggers an opportunity to vote for their favorites in a number of categories. It was an exciting process to be able to vote for your favorites, read the opinions of some of Jewish music’s best known bloggers and finally see the winners when they were announced. YK was hoping that the Jewish Music Bloggers Awards would become an annual event and has asked us to host this year’s awards. We are so honored to be a part of this exciting event!

We have come up with a list of categories and are giving you, the readers, until Sunday night to nominated your favorites in each category.

Once we have firmed up the list, we will post it on our website and you will have ten days to vote for your favorites. During this period, we will be posting picks from a number of Jewish music bloggers who have graciously volunteered to share their opinions. After that, we will narrow the poll down to three finalists in each category, before we finally tally up the votes and proclaim the winners.

Below are the categories for this year’s awards. Who would you like to see nominated in each category? Let us know at awards@jewishmusicreport.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Best Album
Best Song
Best Debut Album
Boys Choir Album
Best Arrangement
Best English Song
Best Yiddish Song
Best Concert DVD

Here we go:

Best Album: A lot of new titles. Seriously. I'll have to go with the one I listened to the most: Malei Olam by Shlomo Katz.

Best Song: I can't help it. The song Bye Bye Bye by Shua Kessin stuck in my head for the longest time. It didn't help that my kids loved it too and were asking for the song to be played. Alot.

Best Debut Album: Ta'amu by Benny Friedman. Quite simply, it was different yet familiar.

Best Choir Album: Its not my fault. I've tried to steer my kids to listen to other music. But they simply insist on the New Yeshiva Boys #3. I'll take their word for it.

I'll leave these four to the peanut gallery.

Best Arrangement
Best English Song
Best Yiddish Song
Best Concert DVD

Let the fun begin.

Jazz, anyone?

2009-11-24T06:57:00.000-05:00

Anyone reading this here blog a fan of jazz? Contemporary or classic, leave a comment with your favorite artist, clubs or whatever listed.

For the record: I enjoy classic jazz artists such as Miles Davis, Hank Jones, The Duke, Thelonious Monk, Sonny Rollins and Stacey Kent.

Last night, I was listening to Sketches of Spain by Davis and it hit me how well he tells a story with that sax.

On Girls Schools.....Blech.

2009-11-14T21:07:00.000-05:00

We're in the parsha.

No, not that one. The other one.

Da Gurlie is interviewing for preschool now. We went on 2 interviews so far.

Our first choice turned us down because......my daughter gets minor speech therapy and has a SEIT.

Excuse me, but thats such bullshit.

Da Wife explained that DG was behind in her speech but will not be getting services at all next year as she is doing great now.

"Sorry, but we dont want to be bothered" in so many words. A kid who that dos not fit inside the box is not welcome.

People. My daughter is no dummy. She follows everything in class and is well-behaved. What more do these folks want?

As for the second interview, The principle liked me but it was clear that I was not frum enough.

And the tuition!!!! Seven to eight thousand dollars a year?!?! Wow! Makes me want to send my kids to public school.

My post might not be too eloquent as usual but thats because stuff like this pisses me off.

I'm not despairing. There are plenty of good girls schools out there to choose from. But now I need to also start worrying about Da boy...The choices out there are not so good.

On Borscht....

2009-11-08T20:58:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of the Barefoot Cook

My upstairs neighbor gave me 2 cups of homemade borscht on Friday night. It was actually pretty good. Maybe those Russians got something right ...Even Da Wife admitted that it was good.

I like trying new things ;)

NYC Tweetup Review

2009-11-07T21:28:00.005-05:00

After work, I trekked up to Manhattan to the Tweet-Up /Blogger Meet at the 92Y in Tribeca organized by Hesh and Itamar from JewNews.com. Mad props guys.

There were new and old faces there. Excitingly, Brooklyn Wolf showed up. After reading his excellent blog for 3 years, it was great to put a face to him.

I had a good time. Hesh treated me to some exotic beer and there were great corporate sponsors as well giving out free food. Sam from Oh!Nuts distributed chocolates and nuts, there were cakes from Grandpa's Coffee Cakes and a bonanza of Hummus and other yummy spreads from Sonny's and Joes which is distributed by Flaums. MMMM. I loved the Hummus. Took home alot of that stuff.

Bloggers in attendance: Moshe and his wife, Mottel and his spouse, Susanne and her husband @RavTex, Brooklyn Wolf, Shlomo,Hesh and Frum Female (didn't speak to her though) . I also met my first blogger couple who met via Hesh's blog, The Real Shaliach and Elisheva.

Also met some people from Twitter: @ffidler who does social media and @jewishrobot , the creator of the Shabot6000 Robot comic.

Posted pictures of the meeting on Twitter but if you wanna see them, you're just going to have to join and follow me- @jacobdajew ;)

Just kidding. Good times:

Me and Hesh.

Mottel "mekareving" me for a hug

Da Jew and Da Wolf

On the subway with the Real Shliach

NYC Blogger Meet/Tweetup Tomorrow

2009-11-03T08:37:00.001-05:00

I will hopefully be attending my first Blogger/Tweetup meeting tomorrow. Hesh will be co-hosting so you know it won't be lame.

Details: Via FrumSatire

Jewish Tweetup NYC
Weds Nov,4th 5:30 – 7:30pm
92Y Tribeca @ 200 Hudson Street

Drop a comment, email or just say hi if you are gonna be there.

Should They Fall?

2009-10-25T00:09:00.002-04:00

Over at Frum Satire, Hesh was discussing whether there should be one central synagogue or are breakwaway minyans are the way to go.

I think the Zichron Moshe (Chassidishe) or Shaare Zion (Sephardi) model is pretty good. They have one or two large-scale Minyanim accompanied by several smaller minyanim.

This comment by the astute Mekubal caught my attention and in my opinion, merits some debate:

"In my opinion, the problem is that the institutions have gone from serving communities to becoming the community, and thus becoming an end unto themselves. This is played out in a number of ways with numerous circumstances… however I think this is also what leads to the breakaways. Shuls and Yeshivas start to do what is best for them, and not best for the community which leads to enough people being pissed to actually break away.

As a perfect example take when the Motzes Gedolim of the Agudah fought against the child abuse laws of New York because their passage could hurt institutions. Did anyone ever stop to notice that to be on the Motzes council and a leading member of the Agudah they have to be the head of a large institution. In other words while the law may have been better for the community and the children, it could directly affect them and their institution in a negative way, so it had to be stopped.

No. I think the sooner many of these big institutions fall, the better."

Shua Kessin: Evolution of a Singer

2009-10-15T20:28:00.009-04:00

Generally speaking, I am not a huge fan of Jewish music. However, when it comes to Shua Kessin, I make an exception to the rule.

The first time I heard Shua sing was at my brother-in-laws wedding in Lakewood, about 4 years ago. He was one of his chavruas and so he sang during the dancing.

Boy, you should have seen him go! Shua got the whole place rockin'. Even my wife's uncle got infected with Shua fever and asked me to set him up with his older daughter. I agreed and spoke to both of them after the simcha. As it turned out, it didn't work out but I got to know Shua quite well and he's genuinely a great guy. We've kept in touch over the years sporadically and I've always had a feeling that this kid is going to make it big.

And so he is.

I've been reading about his great concerts and now his debut album has just been released. Picked myself up a copy and I actually enjoyed the music! Some slower, others with a good fast beat. All around good stuff. I'll leave the in-depth review to pros like Chaim Rubin .

So pick up a copy of his new album at your local Judaica store or online. You won't be disappointed ;)

Thinking outside the box: My trip to the Bobover Succah

2009-10-08T09:54:00.001-04:00

The following thought had occurred to me during the first days of Succot.

Building a succah and then using it for seven days is not easy. One is supposed uproot himself from his usual routine and do things differently. Perhaps the message is that you sometimes need to step outside the box and try new approaches.

To that end, I decided to go to Boro-Park to see the Grand Succahs of the various Chassidic sects there.It was hard after a long day of work but had to be done. I've always wanted to see the glorious Succahs and every year I dragged my feet. Not this year.

So I rounded up some guys and we drove into Boropark.

First stop was the Grand Succah of the Bobover Rebbe on 48th st and 14 Ave. What a delight! More akin to a palace than any succah I've seen, the place was rocking with niggunim and heart.

The Bobover Rebbe is sitting in the middle with a tray of food

Then we rolled out to see the Munkatcher Succah. Also very leibidick.

What trip to BP would be complete without a good heimishe fress? I recommended Deli 52 on 13 Ave. Too late for me personally to eat but the boyz packed it in. I drove exhausted but happy that I have expanded my horizons.

My Esrog is so Shtark...

2009-10-02T10:36:00.000-04:00

My Esrog is so shtark that it has a gartel!

Update: Here is Hesh trying his hand at buying Esrogim:

Superpower Meme

2009-09-16T23:23:00.003-04:00

Material Maidel and Child Ish tagged me with the "SuperPower Meme" :

1: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.

2: Write why you chose that super power over everything else.

3: Tag and link lots of people, and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.

4: fix your broken links.

When tagged, I immediately thought of Wolverine or Carnifex.

These dudes kick ass and have fun doing it, much like myself. Only with time have I stopped getting into physical confrontations. When I was younger, I took on guys bigger and older and enjoyed it (in a sick way).

Love the regeneration ability and innate fighting skills of these bad boys.

I'm going to tag the following badasses:

Jack : Based on this post, the ole J can go a few rounds in style. What would he do if he can do more?

Ben-Yehudah: 'Cause the West Bank is the new Wild Wild West and a Superpower sure would come in handy.

Wolfish Musings: The Wolf is well acquainted with sci-fi and is sure to dream up a cool power, if he decided to step away for a bit from the heavy-hitting posts.

Treppenwitz: Would definitely be interesting to know what Trep would pick! The ability to turn left arm into an auto-cannon, perhaps?

Also: LFD, Ehav, Double Tapper, Snoopy and Jameel. I would not wanna mess with any of these hombres with superpowers.

For some female heroines or villains:

She's Nameless, Faceless: I'm thinking Catwoman ? Even though the movie sucked ;)

Hadassah: Anyone who reads her blog knows no one messes with HSM and lives to fress another Shabbos meal. Do I want her to have a superpower?

Frum Curious: She's a Marine. 'Nuff said. Tagged.

Babysitter: Yes, she's a sweetheart. But you better not underestimate her, she just might....

Last but not least, The blogger formerly known as Ro. Please comment with your superpower.

Anyways, this was fun. Thanks for da tags!

Ladies, prepare to drool

2009-09-15T13:29:00.007-04:00

Da Wife's Birthday present

It's a Bris, spare me the Pilpul

2009-09-10T09:33:00.002-04:00

Just got back from a Bris. The grandfather of the baby delivered a whopper of a speech dissecting a Rambam for 20 minutes.

Dear Kind Sir:

This is a frickin Bris. Not a Shmooze in the Mirrer Yeshiva. Its 8am and people need to get to work. Please hold on the Pilpul and let me fress my bagel with cream cheese and leave.

Thanks!!!!!

Who you calling Nazi?

2009-08-30T20:17:00.007-04:00

I'll get straight to the point:

No one has the right to call anyone else a Nazi. Period.

Someone on Twitter was calling the police facing off against the Charidim rioting Nazis.

Now, I'm not a fan of the po-lice. They tend to be bullies with a badge. And the Yassamim like to lay on heavy with the batons. Not that the Charedim aren't asking for it when they ransack municipal offices.

But no one, NO ONE should be called a Nazi.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE ### A NAZI IS?????

/end rant

Send the Bad One to Israel for Free!

2009-08-30T11:20:00.000-04:00

Send a blogger for free to Israel! Woohoo!

Er...

How?

From Nefesh BNefesh 's website:

Now’s your chance to select a Jewish blogger who will be flying on a Nefesh B’Nefesh charter Aliyah flight on Monday, September 7, 2009 and attend the Second International Jewish Bloggers Convention.

Nominate your fellow blogger with the following form and on your blog, and be sure to read the terms and conditions below to make sure your entry qualifies.

OK.

(Me! Me ! Send me!

Oh wait, someone else needs to nominate me...oh well.. In that case....)

For starters, I nominate Bad4Shidduchim to fly over there.

Why?

She's single, Jewish (duh) & haz Jewish bloggie. B4S writes exceptionally well about her blog topic (Shidduchim) and other stuff as well. As my nominee, I can assure you that she would do a great job of blogging the Aliyah experience.

Maybe she'll find her shidduch there, eh? But then there won't be a blog anymore, would there?

Finally, B4S emailed me for the nomination and for my "rather influential two cents on the matter". Flattery will get you everywhere, dearie.

But seriously, there are other great bloggers nominated as well:

So go ahead and send the Bad One to Israel!!

Chaim Berlin Apikorus Does Teshuvah!

2009-08-20T21:19:00.000-04:00

Received from Mordy from The Knish. Too good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest Readers:

Last year I shared with you the sad picture of an apikorus in the heilige Chaim Berlin Beis Medrash, easily spotted due to his blue shirt. You can see this tragic photo, chosen by Chaim Berlin to grace their 2009 calendar, here:

http://www.frumsatire.net/2008/09/23/how-to-spot-an-apikores/

I'm relieved to inform you that the nebach bochur has done teshuva!! I recently received the Chaim Berlin 2010 calendar and, as you can see in the attached scan, the previously-stained bochur is now wearing a white shirt!

Yes, the attached file really is an unedited scan of the 2010 calendar cover (except for the green commentary, of course). Yes, it really is the exact same shot as the 2009 calendar with one small difference. You can verify this with anyone who receives Chaim Berlin's fundraising material.

In this time of public scandals and serious problems in our community it's good to know that someone at Chaim Berlin took the time to change a blue shirt to a white one. I'm speaking of course of the bochur, that inspiring role model who saw the error of his ways. How he got everyone to pose in the exact same way for the reshoot I don't know, but I'd guess it's because they were inspired by his teshuvah. Please forward this around and/or post it publicly so as to be mefarsem the bochur's inspiring change.

Mordechai

A Must Read: Father to Son by Harry H. Harrison

2009-08-18T23:01:00.001-04:00

I've been blogging since the end of 2006. Since then, many reviews of books, restaurants and other stuff have been posted. Some were positive and others were not.

Never has an author or business owner contacted me to either thank me or comment on a review. Nor have I asked for that as well.

This has recently changed.

I wrote a review of the excellent book "Father to Daughter" back in 2007. Da Wife had bought it for me and I liked it enough to post a few positive words. Click here for the review.

Fast forward.

I received an email from the author, Mr. Harry H. Harrison. Not only that, he also was kind enough to mail 2 more of this books "Father to Son" and "1001 things it means to be a Dad" , which were personally inscribed as well.

Both books are excellent as well. At times, they made me think and other times, laugh.

Some of my favorite sayings from "Father to Son":

"Be his father, not his friend. If you don't understand the difference, imagine his confusion when you must discipline him."

"Accept the fact he just might play with dolls. Its no big deal" (this one is for LOZ)

"Show him how to throw a punch. Then raise him to never start a fight. And teach him to walk away". (IMHO, I hope to teach my daughter some self-defense too)

I am a firm believer in "Hakarat HaTov" which translates as "Recognizing a good deed". And, as it seems, so does the author.

Mr. Harrison is not only a great writer but also a mensch!

Taxes = Ma'aser ?

2009-08-17T22:48:00.002-04:00

Overheard in semi-jest during the shiur about maaser:

"Are taxes considered maaser as the money goes to the chassidim?"

Happy Birthday to Da Boy!

2009-07-31T11:29:00.000-04:00

Hard to believe but its been one year since this little tyke turned my world over...

Happy Birthday to Da Boy!

Censoring Your Child's Music

2009-07-23T09:46:00.003-04:00

Question: What kinds of music do you not allow your children to listen to?

I started thinking about this recently. Da Gurlie is really talented musically. She can hear a song a few times and remember the lyrics and tune. Don't give me any credit, that trait comes from her mother.

So I thought to introduce her to music other than Uncle Moishe. Played her some jazz (Coltrane, Monk, Jones etc). That went over well.

Then, yesterday, some AC/DC started blasted from my Bose speakers( Ipod was on shuffle) and we rocked out to that. Now she's getting into Pop.

I mentioned that to some people and they did not like me playing AC/DC for her. Until now, I've pretty much played everything but hip-hop/rap (because of the foul language).

So what do you say? What types of music should be restricted to children?

Rioting from Boredom

2009-07-19T01:32:00.004-04:00

Why is it that Chareidim riot every so often? Lets put aside "Blood libels", "SHABBOS!" "Autopsies" and other excuses.

Its quite simple (well, maybe not, but might just be one of the reasons).

Boredom.

Having been to a few fun riots on Bar Ilan Blvd and having lived in Geulah, I can attest to that.

Life is boring in Charidei Town.

Maybe some kids would stroll over to Gan Sacher for a game or two of basketball (like me)but its frowned upon. What else is there to do?

Rioting is the answer.

Go throw stones at chilonim, burn garbage cans, assault gov workers, stone buses and other sundry mischief.

It's fun.

I know. I've been there. And there is nothing more exciting to a young bochur than getting chased by cops on horseback. Or that crazy water cannon firing at will into the crowds, trying to ruin that $1000 streimel.

Is there a solution? Maybe some Charidei basketballs courts where kids can work off their energy less violently.

Better yet. Jobs. It's kinda hard to to riot when you have to be at work.

Which Donuts do you Desire?

2009-07-13T10:52:00.010-04:00

Voices are raised.

Fists are shaken.

Threats are made.

Why, you ask?

Its the Donut Debate with my co-workers. Who makes the best crullers? Dr. D claims that Dunkin Donuts rule. Mista B hollers that he doesn't understand why people love Krispy Kreme.

I shout them down. KK rules!!!

Of course, I'm right. In the order that they are desired:

Krispy Kreme

Entemanns

Dunkin Donuts (or Double D's as Fizzle calls em)

I don't think DD's is worth the 99 cents. Seriously. Small and Stale, keep em away from me.

On the other hand....KK's are loaded with goodness and are simply yummy with sweetness.

The boyz start yelling that Entenmann's doesn't count as a "real" donut because they aren't fresh.

I wrote about "Jewish" donuts back in Chanukah time.

So lets hear it. What donuts do you dig?

Firsthand accounts of Terrorism

2009-07-06T09:51:00.003-04:00

After reading Ben-Yehuda's account of being injured in a terrorist attack, I was reminded of certain days, dark days.

Baruch HaShem, we don't hear of too many suicide bombings lately, largely due to the "infamous" security fence. But there used to be many, many attacks.

I remember those times vividly.

I grew up in the '90s in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.

Those were the days of the #18 bus bombings, after the other, some of them taking place a mere few blocks away from my home.

Dark days.

The dark day when I took the bus home from school in Tel Aviv and hearing on the radio about the Dizengoff bombers.

The dark day when I wake up hearing a massive boom, walk 3 blocks to the Machane Yehuda Market and still see the car burning, hearing the crowd cry for vengeance against the Arabs (no casualties that time, BH).

The dark day when I hear that my mother was talking to my sister in Ben Yehudah Mall and my sister hears the phone go dead. Turns out my mother was running for cover while multiple explosions are going off, targeting rescuers and civilians alike.

Want to hear more? Visit Gila at My Shrapnel who will tell you what its like "getting to know your shrapnel".

So the next time some asshole complains about how the security fence is oppressing the Palis, tell them to take a ride in the DeLorean time machine and take a seat on the #18 bus. That should change their stupid minds.

Needed: Ideas for children indoor activites

2009-07-05T14:56:00.001-04:00

Things have changed around casa Da Jew.

We now have a babysitter watching my son and another child during the day. Until now, Da Boy was going to a playgroup in Boro Park but he wasn't getting much sleep (light sleeper).

Da Gurlie changed her playgroup too and now goes to a closer one to home until 3pm.

Thing is, we split the babysitter with someone else with 2 kids. So from 3pm until I get home about 5 o'clock, the babysitter is watching 4 kids-2 infants, Da Gurlie who is 3 1/2 and a boy who is 2 1/2.

We need ideas how to occupy the older kids while allowing the babies to sleep. The 2 yr old is energetic while Da Gurlie is more sedate, plus there is an age gap. So we need 2 separate act ivies for each one.

Ideally, I would like to write up a schedule of activities per day per child.

Comments and links are very welcome.

Ed: I'm tagging those bloggers who are in da know: Mother in Israel, Juggling Frogs,Raizy , Hadassah, Sally, LOZ , Trep , Jameel , Babysitter and Rafi .

Wild Cards

2009-06-23T22:10:00.002-04:00

Some of you I know enjoy a good sci-fi read.

Beware.

This series is HIGHLY addictive and might cause family members to ask where the #### you disappeared to. Also, blogging, sleeping, eating and other mundane activities might be affected.

What the hell am I talking about?

Its the Wild Card series edited by George R.R. Martin.

Wiki Synopsis:

......The series relates an alternate history of the earth after World War II. In 1946 an alien virus that rewrites human DNA is accidentally unleashed in the skies over New York City. It kills 90% of those who come into contact with it (referred to as 'drawing the Black Queen'). However, 9% mutate into deformed creatures (known as 'Jokers') and the remaining 1% gain superpowers (known as 'Aces'). There is also a class known as 'deuces' - Aces who have acquired useless or ridiculous powers, such as the ability to levitate up to two feet, or to grow bodily hair at will. The airborne virus eventually spreads all over the world, affecting tens of thousands.

The Wild Cards universe is distinguished from most superhero comic book fiction by several thematic elements. Early on the authors decided to pursue a more realistic, or naturalistic approach to storytelling. Few of the Ace characters in Wild Cards have secret identities, or are traditional crime-fighting superheroes in the mold of Spider-Man or Batman. Wild Cards remained set within a recognizably real world with recognizably real people and pop culture and, because of the historical setting of many of the stories, had characters who aged realistically during the course of the series. The majority of Wild Card victims live in the run-down ghetto of Jokertown, while the fortunate Aces become glamorous celebrities. In addition, Wild Cards took a more graphic approach to violence, and particularly to sex, than most superhero stories do.

I am currently stuck at "The Black Trump" and eagerly awaiting the next two books from the Brooklyn Public Library. They do not have it in stock so I am getting them from the inter-library loan program.

I really like the series because there are many different authors all following a central theme, therefore keeping it fresh yet recognizable.

The big Q:

If I could choose to be an Ace (why would I want to be a joker, right?), my choices would be either Carnifex or Fortunato .

Anyways, its a great series, go out and read it if you have any interest in sci-fi or superheroes.

An Open Letter to the Jewish Press

2009-06-20T23:08:00.001-04:00

Dear Editors of the Jewish Press:

The front page of this week's edition (6/17/9) showing a Palestinian gunman aiming an assault weapon at an image of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu speaking is appalling.

The Jewish Press purports to be a "family" newspaper and such blatantly violent images are very inappropriate for children.

A long time reader,

Jacob

Ed: I emailed the editors directly.

Wanted: Bartender who can mix Kosher Cocktails

2009-06-18T18:01:00.003-04:00

People.

Listen up.

I got this buddy who is a journalist and is currently writing an article about Kosher Cocktails. If anyone is or knows a Jewish Mixologist working in a bar who knows how to whip one up the Kosher way, let me know.

Or.

If you know any good drinks with uniquely Kosher ingredients, leave a comment with the recipe.

We plan on hitting up a couple of places in search of that Holy Margarita in the next week or so.

ReTweeting and linking to this post would appreciated.

Thanks!

Hey Lady, Cover your Nees!

2009-05-26T15:45:00.006-04:00

Got this "gem" from my sister-in-law who lives in Lakewood:

Link

Words escape me. Quoting one of the many lunatics agreeing with the mental case:

"I saw a woman that revealed her legs and for her punishment, they caught her by legs and threw her like she was a rag and they hung her upside down on steel pipes and blood drips down and she is yelling for help but there is no help for her."

Coming your way soon...da Taliban...Lakewood style.

Girls after my own heart

2009-05-26T10:43:00.003-04:00

I'm one of those guys who values silence.

Just sitting there, listening to the quiet and not speaking.

Many people feel the need to talk, to fill the silence when with others. Not I.

I remember that during our first date, Da Wife and I were just strolling along the boardwalk, listening to the surf in companionable silence. That endeared her to me.

Today, waiting for my father-in-law to drive Da Gurlie and I to her playgroup, we sat there silent, listening to the quiet.

I ask her "Love Daddy?"

"Yes, Yes". Smiles. "No Talking" .

Girls after my own heart. G-d Bless them.

Yom Yerushalayim for me

2009-05-21T14:06:00.003-04:00

Yom Yerushalayim Sameyach!

My strongest memory of Yom Yerushalayim is when I worked in Bonker's Bagels in the Old City.

We were open all night as masses of people, young and old, walked in. Our staff was doubled, no, tripled as people were clamoring for some American soul food.

The store made more money that night than some weeks.

I finally left the store at 5am feeling tired yet excited from the exuberance and joy of the multitudes.

Good times.

Hat-tip to ck from jewlicious via Twitter for reminding me with some twit-pics.

Chassidim: Once forward thinkers, now backward

2009-05-09T21:01:00.002-04:00

Once, Chassidim led by the Ba'al Shem Tov and his followers were the forerunners of a revolution, a new thought process in Judaism. They were ostracized by many until their philosophy gained ground.

Now, ironically, Chassidim cling to the past, dressing as noblemen in the 18th century. Their communities shun outsiders, preferring to add members through large familes.

Why? How does the forward thinker become backward?

You know you're an Israeli when....

2009-04-26T12:44:00.003-04:00

My younger brother came in from his Yeshiva in Israel to spend Pesach with us.

As he was passing out on his bed after his arrival, I told him to shower and then go to bed. Bro delivers this gem:

"Achi, yesh Mayim Chamim?" (Translation: Brother, is there hot water?)

I laughed.

To an American, this question makes no sense. Why wouldn't there be hot water? But to an Israeli, it makes perfect sense.

In Israel, hot water is heated mostly by using solar panels. If its a cloudy day or the small tank of solar heated water runs out, one must flip a switch and wait 15-20 minutes for the water to be heated by electrical means.

However, here in the US, we use natural gas or oil to warm the water and so there is always hot water on tap.

So my brother's question is unique to an Israeli's viewpoint.

Crazy things people do for Pesach

2009-04-01T08:36:00.002-04:00

People tend to overdramatize Pesach. "I have to clean this , have to do that". Ever thing comes under the gun.

Hello? Since when spring cleaning is halacha lemaseh lechumrah?

I've heard some pretty retarded Pesach cleaning lines, mostly relayed from my beloved.

From Da Wife: "My boss's wife hand cleaned all the Leggo in her house". (What happened to just dumping them in the bathtub or not at all?)

Or

"My friend's sister in law cleaned her Chometz pots with Easy off (Easy Off is used to clean ovens, quite toxic), got sick with the fumes and was ashamed to call Hatzolah since they warned against doing stupid/retarded things like that."

Allllllllllright.

I wanna hear some wacky things from y'all.

Jacob is "The Dude" for Purim!

2009-03-11T22:54:00.002-04:00

"The Dude"

"Dude Wannabe"

For those of you who do not know who "The Dude" is, I highly recommend running out and renting "The Big Lebowski".

I loved this movie, saw it twice in theaters when it came out. Da Wife even bought me a T-Shirt that says "Shomer Shabbos" for my birthday. After giving thought to this year's costume, I decided to be "The Dude".

Wardrobe consisted of wife's old wig (The Dude has longish hair), purple bathrobe (dedicated to Mrs. LFD ), "Shomer Shabbos" T-Shirt, daughter's massive wraparound shades, pajama pants and fluffy slippers.

I must say, many did not recognize me and it was a very comfortable costume...other than the wig which frickin hurt! Plus, I was free to act as drunk/stupid/stoned as I liked and no one cared!

Real Dude smoking

>Wannabe Dude hitting da hookah at DK's awesome Purim Party

Why Blog?

2009-03-09T00:00:00.004-04:00

Why Blog?

It's not an easy thing. Doing da "blog thing" takes time and effort.

You have something to say? Write, review, edit, label, publish, review, edit & republish. Who said blogging was easy?

Wait, the job isn't done.

Now you have to make your "voice" heard and that is the hard part.

Comment, link, email, post, repeat.

Time and effort.

So why do it? Isn't life busy enough?

Truth be told, every blogger I've spoken to has a different reason why he or she blogs.

Some want to rave about the injustice or failings of our society.

Some want to put out on "paper" their thoughts on various subjects ( Humor, Torah, Science etc).

Some use the blogosphere to interact and meet with others.

Some couldn't give a rat's ass about opinions, they just want to say their piece.

Me?

Well, I kind of went through all of the above. I enjoyed venting about stuff, writing up deep thoughts, meeting cool people and most of all.....

The ability to actually make a difference.

You see, when I write a review or an opinion, its searchable and accessible to the world wide web- for better and for worse.

For example, when Hesh and I did a video touring Pomegranate, people came up to me in Shul about it. Or for better, when I wrote about Chiffon's closing and re-opening, I received emails querying for information.

I've been blogging for a while now. Started in Nov-Dec 2006 and been going pretty strong till now. Over 415 posts, 77,000 hits and countless comments to date.

Its been real, people, but its time to put on my shoes and get moving. See ya!

....

Psyched!!

Just kidding. I'm still hanging in there, providing the world with the unique viewpoint of 'Da Jew.

So.....you know you want to spill it, why do you blog?

Oh no!

2009-03-03T20:44:00.000-05:00

Last night fun:

Da Wife: Keep Da Gurlie busy while I put Da boy to sleep

JdJ: Gurlie, go play with your new dollhouse.

G: Daddy play with Gurlie dollhouse.

(Uh oh...but do I have a choice?)

JdJ sits down (knows the routine), takes doll, knocks on dollhouse door.

"Knock knock"

Who's dere?

Dolly!

( at this point, I'm off da hook, DG takes over all dollhouse functions (Thank G-d) )

Oh, Birdy (must have had a naming ceremony for this one without my knowledge) come in!

G: Takes Birdy to eat some birthday cake and then....

G: Birdy, go play piano. Sits doll down on bench in front of dollhouse piano.

(Are you ready).......

(wait for it)...................................

G: Oh no!!! Birdy "make" on the bench! Oh no! Oh no! No make on bench, only toilet!

JdJ: Speechless.

Couldn't have "made" that one up even if I wanted to.....

In other kiddy news....

During Da Boy's bath, he managed to pee in his ear.

Life at JdJ's crib is never dull.

Overpriced and Underfed at Mike's Bistro

2009-03-02T21:33:00.001-05:00

Warning: ranting ahead....

I'm still too pissed off to write coherently about this but I'll try....

Da Wife and I went out to Manhattan last night to catch a bite and a comedy show. We picked a few places but ended up parking far from them.

So we popped into Mike's Bistro on 72nd Street. Our initial impression was favorable, someone took our coats quickly and we were seated....right next to a table of pre-teens and their parents.

OK. Maybe a quieter spot...but we have never been there and so did not know about the spacious upstairs.

A glance at the menu was jaw-dropping. Holy sh$t, 35-45-57 dollar entrees?

Well, we're here, might as well enjoy ourselves.

RIGHT?

So I ordered soup( 12 bucks, expensive but decent) lamb chops at $57 (WTF was I thinking?) and Da Wife got some mixed chicken salad and we were going to split the dishes between us.

Guess what?

THE 57 DOLLAR ENTREE CONSISTS OF THREE STINKIN PIECES OF MEAT!!!

3!!!!!!!

Da Wife's dish was even smaller.

I became temporarily mentally deranged at this point and asked for a check immediately as I was about to pelt someone with some lamb bones.

"Dinner" came out to 95 smackers ($%^&&). I threw 10 bucks on the table and rolled out without committing homicide.

For the record, I've spent money in restaurants before. A solid meal at Abigail's or Fusion Steakhouse can run about 100 dollars. But its delicious, plentiful and delightful.

But this "Mike's Bistro Steakhouse" was the first time I've spent money in a restaurant and came out hungry.

That ever happen to you? You spend money in a restaurant and get zero value? Do tell.

P.S. The evening got better later on when we went to the Comedy Club...More on that later.

BREAKING NEWS: CHIFFON'S BAKERY HAS REOPENED AT A NEW LOCATION!!!

2009-02-27T08:03:00.005-05:00

Like your challah done just so?

Want your rye done right?

MMMM...and my favorite...those delicious lindsey torte cookies that only one bakery knows how to make right...

Well, I got great news for you then!!!

My good friends Esther and Levi Kramer have reopened Chiffon's Bakery at a new location!

Press release exclusive to Jacob Da Jew:

Chiffon's has merged with The Cake Center to form Chiffon's Kosher Cake Center 430 Ave P 718-998-7530. Our famous Challos and breads are back along with Photo and character cakes and the largest variety of miniatures around. Thanks so Much!

We here at chez Da Jew are extremely happy and excited for the new bakery and wish them best of luck!! So what are you waiting for? Go check it out! And tell them I sent you :)

On Dieting....

2009-02-25T21:22:00.003-05:00

So I've been "dieting" for approx 3 weeks now.

Here's how it went. The first few days, my stomach was killing me as it went from being stuffed with massive amounts of carbs to celery sticks and cucs. I was strict about watching myself and lost 5.5 pounds.

Week 2 was way harder as it sunk in that I really really miss my nosh. So I cheated here and there and only lost about 1.5 lbs.

Week 3 was pretty much the same as Week 3 with no major weight loss.

So you'd think I'm bummed out for not losing tons of weight, right?

Yes, in week 2, I was freaking out about eating every little thing and obsessing about calories and shit. I felt bloated and huge, maybe since my system was adjusting to mad diet change.

But this week, I actually see the difference! All my pants are looser on me and a couple of people complimented me.

Its kinda hard to tell how much I've lost so far but its between 7-10 pounds. More important to me is the exercise than the dieting.

I get on that treadmill, crank it up to the highest incline like a sick masochist and run as hard as I can, 5 to 8.5 mph. Bonus: Shin and leg muscles are getting noyce.

The most credit is due to Da Wife who has been feeding us all very healthy stuff and enabling me to focus on just exercise etc instead of having to prepare meals which is a hard part of any diet.

I feel great!

Back in da seat

2009-02-24T22:34:00.000-05:00

Haven't posted in a a few weeks.

Like who cares?

Let's face it, I'm no Hesh (who visited us tonight and inspired me to get back into it) or Dov Bear.

No one is eagerly anticipating what 'Da Jew has to say, right?

Fact is, there hasn't been much hugely blogworthy stuff happening lately and I'm not one to just fill the B-waves with useless drivel. However, I got some decent posts stored up and will be posting again soon enough...

Lately, I've just been lurking, reading my daily feed of 90 plus blogs.

Some noteworthy "starred" stuff:

Kindergarten Judaism and a Society of Givers is a Society of Takers by Child Ish

Excuse me, did you sleep with me last night? by Trep

On those Octoplets and Social Media can be too socia l by Jack

By the way, The soup you've been eating has been frozen for 6 months by Hesh

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/jacobdajew

Tending to da lillies

2009-02-05T08:56:00.004-05:00

Brooklyn Botanical Gardens 9/10/2008
Cross-posted at JoeFlix

Dieting time

2009-02-01T09:18:00.004-05:00

The days of eating whatever catches my fancy are over.

Two young kids, wife and I working full time means that my usual 3 times a week biking schedule is over. I am just too tired to ride at full tilt.

Since the summer when Da Boy was born, I maybe biked twice. That's it. So the pounds have started to pile up. I gained about 12 lbs since then. Living in Brooklyn ain't easy for the dieter. Way too many good bakeries. MMM...I just luv sweets!

So I'm cutting down on junk food. Post summer I weighed 200 pounds,(now 212lbs) and I aim to get back to that. The doc tells me to lose another 10-15 on top on that but anyone who has met me knows that I don't need to lose so much. Before getting married I was a real scarecrow and don't want to look like that again.

Some basic guidelines I'll be following:

-No cakes cookies etc

-eating dinner before 8-9 pm

-Big breakfast

-Lots of water

-bi-weekly exercise sessions

No Atkins, South beach or whatnot diets. Just a little cutting back. After all, why wait until I get that blimp stage? Da Jew aims to be in fighting form, always.

F****ed up Photo of the Day

2009-01-29T10:59:00.003-05:00

Frozen in Indifference. Via Drudge Report.

Fun Activities?

2009-01-22T14:15:00.002-05:00

I'm looking for ideas for fun activities on my day off (Monday), something to liven my week. Work and no play is not good for Da Jew.

Any suggestions?

In other news, Robert De Niro joins the war in Gaza as an IDF soldier

2009-01-15T09:21:00.000-05:00

I made him an offer....and he refused.

H/T Jameel and Robert

Kidding aside, we must all pray for the brave soldiers fighting to stop Quassam rockets. I've been reading Jameel at the Muqata and Aussie Dave at Israelly Cool for their excellent live-blogging of the Gazan War.

A special prayer goes out for my best friend KB, a chayal boded i.e. "Lone Soldier" who made aliyah and is currently serving in the Kfir division. He is currently stationed ( I believe) in Jenin. We here at chez Da Jew are very proud of him. Every few months he comes back for a visit and we always spend time together grilling beef and downing drinks.

Be safe, my brother. And when you fire your "MAG", think of me ;)

Bonanza of a Birthday

2009-01-07T21:50:00.001-05:00

Actual Party Gear

Wow.

I must say, this birthday has been the best yet.

Da Wife and I went out on New Years Eve to Park Slope. We ushered in da new year just chilling in our car, listening to the radio. Its interesting how just sitting still without having to tend to children or work is a pleasure.

Our original plans went awry when "Barbes" was way too packed with (y)puppies. And damn, it was frickin' freezing outside!

We ended up at the Cabana Bar on 5th Ave. There, a nice waitress served us a huge bowl of rum punch that totally wrecked me. No, I am not going to provide pictures of my eyes at quarter mast :P.

Serves 4...but we won't tell anyone that, eh?

Then, Friday night, we had over a couple of guys for my special treat: Da Wife makes "spiked punch" once a year- only for my birthday. LFD, Gilmour and a few other close friends pounded that **** and then started doing straight up shots of vodka. Nice.

Presents:

Da Wife bought me this:

Also, a digital photo frame and a new siddur with my name on it.

You rock, baby!

-My good friend Ilan, co-owner of SuperGlatt Meats brought over some excellent proprietary hot dogs that were so good yet not overbearing with that nasty aftertaste. Look out for his excellent product which will soon be hitting supermarket shelves very soon.

-Topp Dawggy sent me a huge tin of Dale and Thomas Popcorn. OMG! That stuff should be outlawed, I've been pounding chocolate covered popcorn pretty much none stop. Dude knows what to buy.

I must also acknowledge the various phone calls and emails by friends and family. Of great joy was also a call from my younger brother who lives in Israel.

Last but not least, a special thank you to everyone who left me a birthday wish in the previous post.

Go Jacob, It's Your Birthday...

2008-12-31T06:56:00.003-05:00

Yep, its that time of year again. Da Jew and Co. will be celebrating tonight in honor of my birthday.

Whats in store you might ask?

We be chillin in Park Slope. Might catch a jazz show, a couple of drinks.

It'll be "swell".

:)

Muslim Hate Troll on my blog

2008-12-29T14:14:00.003-05:00

This despicable Muslim woman "Meg" leaves the following comment on my latest post:

"Nice menorah!

How do you keep all that blood...er I mean candle wax from dripping on your shoes?"

What a piece of shit.

Not going to link to her site as no one should be subjected to her garbage.

I hear Hamas is looking for some more cannon fodder, Meg.....

Update: As per Moshe's suggestion, I am linking to the Sharmoota's blogger page.

We Are All Bright Lights

2008-12-25T21:42:00.002-05:00

As I was walking home from work, there were Menorahs lit up in many houses. Some lit several, others lit up one and yet some turned on their electric Menorahs.

I felt this warm fuzzy feeling seeing wonderful flames twinkling at me. My mind was then made up: my Menorah will now be lit up on our window sill. Until now it has been on a credenza.

Later, as we sat basking in the light, 2 delightful children resting in my lap listening to me sing "Al HaNisim", the following thought occurred to me.

No matter what kind of menorah a person uses, the flame is observed to be the same. Whether it was a 3 foot sterling Menorah, a large pewter Menorah, a small tin candle Menorah or an electric Menorah- they all sparkle.

The flames do not indicate if a person lighting is yeshivish, Chassidish, Modern Orthodox or Reform.

They all burn equally bright.

We too, as Jewish people and human beings, are deep inside all the same, burning brightly into the night.

Tonight, we are all bright lights.

Also, check out Joe Flix for my recent Chanuka photo submission.

Donuts!!! Latkes!! Action!!

2008-12-22T12:09:00.000-05:00

Candle or Oil? (Oil for me and candle for Da Gurlie)

Caramel or Custard or Jelly? (Caramel)

To Latke or not to Latke? (Hells yeah, to Latke!)

Lets hear from y'all.

These are the important dilemmas confronting every Jew during Chanukah. This holiday is celebrated by all, whether you roll out the white plastic menorah with them red bulbs or a sterling silver behemoth.

For me, Chanukah is a great time. My birthday is usually around now ( in less than a week). It is really the easiest holiday. Even if you do the oil thing, the ready made stuff makes it so much easier.

Chanukah conjures up images of snow and ice, fried potato latkes, 2 for a shekel jelly donuts in Machaneh Yehudah, my father buying me a gold watch for my bar mitzvah(have no idea where it is) and chocolate (and sometimes real) gelt.

I love my caramel donuts. Its hard to find a good one. Jelly and custard are alright though. Flatbush Takeout on Coney Island Ave makes a mean Latke.

Where's your donuts at?

Update: Mike in Midwood has a review.

Bush and Livni: Caption da Photo!

2008-12-15T09:39:00.003-05:00

I'm not typically a Bush-Basher but this photo, spotted in the Daily News a few weeks ago was too good to pass on.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please caption this photo!

Love and Respect: Part Two

2008-12-13T12:46:00.003-05:00

In Part One of this series, we discussed the concept of "Respect". This post shall deal with the idea of "Love".

Love.

Everyone reading this post probably has their own riff on what true love means.

Its a difficult term to nail down. I think I'll let good ole Wikipedia help me out on this one:

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.^[1] The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love^[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.^[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Lets just say that true love might entail dealing with human waste, feeding squalling beings and other myriad chores.

It might mean waking up countless nights in a row so that the significant other would be able to function at work.

Why else would anyone put up with that?

Humor aside, I also want to add one caveat here: "Love can not be taken but must be given freely".

You can not make someone else love you. Even if you feel affection and love towards another, it does not mean that that person will reciprocate. This I know from personal experience and I am not talking about romantic love.

Love is worth fighting for but not dying for. Cryptic, eh? Chew on it....

The post would not be complete without an original love poem sent in by a friend of the blog (comments welcome):

What is Love?

Love starts a fire that constantly burns

Sparking heat and passion around every turn

He fills your life with utter delight and sweet pleasures

Roses, cards, teddy bears, bracelets-priceless moments to treasure

Love is sharing both joys and sorrows

Erasing any uncertainty of tomorrow

Love forgives what you might do or say

Love doesn’t feel the need to be perfect

Love makes it all okay.

Love is when he’ll go to any length

Love is life

Love is beauty

Love gives you strength

Love takes hold, finding its way through the dark

Passed chapped lips and stretch marks,

Capturing your heart in an eternal embrace

Love is counting the minutes till you see his sweet face

Savoring each moment you spend with him

Love is gazing into his eyes, feeling your worries wash away

Love is the feeling I feel for you every minute of every day

Sorry for the mess...

2008-12-12T14:27:00.002-05:00

Why do people (usually) tell a guest "Sorry/ I apologize for the mess?"

The Yeshiva World does not report Real News

2008-12-09T20:48:00.000-05:00

VIN News via Orthonomics and Honestly Frum alerted me to the fact that Beis Faiga, the largest school system in Lakewood, has closed their doors to 1800 girls due to a teachers strike over late salaries.

So Da Wife says to me: "Go check The Yeshiva World website, what do they have to say?"

Nothing. Zip Nada.

Hello? Is the fact that 1800 frum girls are not in school today is not considered news?

Disgusting.

Love and Respect: Part One

2008-12-09T08:58:00.001-05:00

Love and Respect. This topic that has been on my mind.

I will be writing 3 posts on this subject, breaking it down to basic components (and sparing you from reading one massive post because we all know how that sucks).

Lets begin with the concept of respect.

Respect.

Respect is not given but must be earned. Personal example: In my previous job, I was hired as management in my new field without earning my "stripes". My boss, and to a certain extent myself, thought that just by stint of being appointed to the position and based on previous qualifications I would be a shoe-in.

But it doesn't work that way. The employees resented the fact that I was a newbie and have not come through the ranks. Additionally, the fact that I knew practically nothing about my field also diminished their view of me. The job did not work out.

Respect is not given but must be earned.

Genuine respect is hard to come by but in the long run its worth it. In my current job, I have worked there for 4 years and people know that Jacob gets the job done well and with a flair.

Respect in this case is well earned and well deserved.

Many things are tied up with the concept of respect. If someone is respected, people stop and listen. People will follow orders from someone respected.

Everyone wants respect but few realize that it comes at a price. One must toil and earn it with hard work.

In the next 2 posts, I will address "Love" and what happens when Love and Respect are combined.

JPIX #21 is up!

2008-12-08T10:47:00.003-05:00

The JPIX carnival is a collection of photos submitted by various bloggers. It is coordinated by Frumhouse and hosted by different gracious bloggers.

This well-done edition is hosted by Mother in Israel. I'm sure that it took a while to compile so be sure to visit.

Double H is up ! Commencing Da Countdown

2008-12-07T07:21:00.001-05:00

Well, what would you know....I submitted the post about Jewish men having "Beitzim" (or lack of them) and Muse agrees with me!

Shiloh Musings: HH #194-- Start the countdown now!: "Jacob da Jew put this in the Humor category, but there are some very serious points in this post about singles becoming marrieds. IMHO, in many cases, couples never would have stood under the chupah together if the female hadn't taken the initiative."

Thank you.

People , go check it out!

Breaking News! Chiffon's Bakery closing its doors today

2008-12-05T13:02:00.006-05:00

Breaking and Shocking News!

Chiffon's Bakery on Coney Island Ave is closing its doors today. The owners are good friends of mine and this has come as a complete shock to me. I do not know any details other than it seems that there has been issues with the landlord and their lease has not been renewed. I wrote about Chiffon's back in 2007.

Good people. They have introduced me to my current Shul. I hope and pray things will look up for them in whatever they do next.

Looking for Graphic Web Designer

2008-12-05T01:19:00.003-05:00

A very close friend of mine is looking for a graphic web designer for their company website. Kindly email me if you are interested in the gig or have any leads: jacobdajew at gmail dot com.

G-d Bless America & Good Shabbos

Airspace

2008-12-04T02:59:00.004-05:00

I saw this gem at Xavier's blog:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In addition to communicating with the local air traffic control facility, aircraft are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar a ten minute "heads up" that they will be transiting Iranian airspace. This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and destination. This exchange was overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai.

Air Defense Radar: "Unknown aircraft at (location undisclosed), you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself."

Aircraft: "This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace."

Air Defense Radar: "You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!"

Aircraft: "Roger that. This is a United States Navy F-18 fighter jet. Send 'em up!"

Air Defense Radar: ............... (no response ... total silence)

Squeegee Men

2008-12-02T22:52:00.002-05:00

I usually fill on gas by Ditmas Ave and Coney Avenue at the Hess gas station there. It is one of the cheaper stations in Flatbush.

( Sidenote: Wow, the price per gallon really dropped from the summer, now $2.19 per gallon!)

So there was this black guy doing the squeegee thing.

Wikipedia link.

I previously have had an experience before with a squeegee man last year. As I pulled in to fill up, this dude (not the same guy) starts washing my windows and filling my tank. When I attempted to tip him a sawbuck, he started hustling me to give him more money "Its cold man, hook me up".

So this time, I waved the guy away repeatedly until he got the message. Then I felt bad. Maybe this guy just wants to earn a couple of dollars?

What do you do when confronted by squeegee men?

Do Jewish Boys have no Beitzim?

2008-12-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

From the Material Maidel:

"Title: Do Jewish Boys have no Beitzim?"

If so? Where are they?

This Jewish guy I met this Shabbos is your typical ModOrth UWS single professional type who is desperate to get married. He didn't say he was desperate - but cmon, he lives on the UWS, and he says he doesn't sleep around. (but then, who knows!)

One of his good friends is this girl who would be PERFECT for him. They have awesome chemistry, are perfectly compatible height, look and religious-wise. And they're both single! So what's going on here? Why doesn't he make a move. It's not like they're SUCH good friends that they risk losing something if it doesn't work out. I know that if the guy made a move, the girl would probably be interested. But girls don't like to make the first move. Nor should they have to.

Jewish boys need Beitzim."

My response:

"Unfortunately, dear Maidel, YOU need to update your stereotypes.

News Flash: Not all men can be decisive and dominant and not all women are submissive and just "play along".

Some of my friends were waffling when it came to pop the big Q and the girl did it.

Plenty of couples have the woman playing the dominant role."

I think this comment is pretty clear cut. The typical gender stereotypes are exactly that: stereotypes.

Second, and married men would probably agree with me, once you tie the knot, that's it. No more "Beitzim", cojones, whatever you want to call them. They disappear. The women rule just by stint of..well, always being right.

Yep, She(insert name of spouse, g/f, whatever) is never, ever wrong. (Applause from various female bloggers).

Not Your Daddy

2008-11-30T08:32:00.002-05:00

...How should I know ? Go check out Benji, host of the latest Haveil Havalim.

Thoughts on Mumbai

2008-11-29T20:44:00.000-05:00

I'm sure everyone read all about the Mumbai attacks.

They affected me more profoundly, more viscerally than before than any other terrorist attacks before.

Maybe its because I have an affinity for Chabad. I learned in a Chabad school for a short time in Israel ( don't remember the name) where we did lots of Farbragens. I also had a learning session for a year or so learning Sichos and Tanya at age 14 or so.

Maybe its because they attacked people who are just good, just trying to welcome others into their home which angered me immensely.

Every movement has its detractors and Chabad is no different. But there is something about the Shlichim which is selfless. Wherever you go, there is a Chabad House. All are welcome there.

Being connected to various social networks was crucial. I followed Chaims Rubin's blog and Twitter avidly which kept me up to date and felt much more involved.

Please visit Treppenwitz and Seraphic Secrets for insightful and disturbing posts on the matter.

Parshat Quiz

2008-11-25T21:16:00.003-05:00

(Parshat Quiz this actual receive us frum playgroup)

1.What this week parasha? Chayei Sarah

2. Where Avraham has sent Eliezer? To find wife for Yitzchak

3. Eliezer brought with him in the way...? Camels, and gifts

4. How Eliezer knew that Rivka the good wife for Yitzchak? She has give Eliezer to drink water, and to his camels to

5. What has give Eliezer to Rivka? 2 gold braslets and gifts

6. How old was Rivka? 3 years old

7. How many camels it was? 10 camels

Must you comment!

99 blogs on the wall, 99 blogs...

2008-11-23T21:34:00.002-05:00

Well, more like 95 blogs...that I have been reading via Google Reader. The reader has enabled me to browse and check out way more blogs than I'm used to. Sometimes Google, based on my current feeds, will recommend other blogs. Some previously read and others not.

Some of the recent posts that I have "starred" as noteworthy:

Rabbonim vs Roshei Yeshivot by Ezzie

Running from a Rocket Attack by Chaim

So You Wanna be a J-Blogger by Frum Punk

Shidduch Dating or Casual Dating by Harry Maryles

The Matrix runs on Windows by Xavier

Planning for the Future Part 1 by Prof K

The Story That Gets Worse as You Read it by Aussie Dave

Trep's Travel Tips Part #1 by David Bogner

Subway Maps by the Subway Blogger

Where Lev Le'Achim and Haredim Failed by Child Ish

Laziness/Efficiency (Or a quiet Family Oriented Friday) by TriLcat

The Day is Short and the work is great: Efficient Shabbat Preparations by Mother in Israel

Always on Fire by Abandoning Eden

Recipe: Homemade Tehina by Mother in Israel

I wanna be ah Rebbe!!

2008-11-21T14:57:00.005-05:00

Via Chaptzem, Blog in DM and Life of Rubin:

After watching this video...YES! I want to be a rebbe. Look at the cool houses etc...these guys are Heimishe Rockstars. Best part of being a Rebbe is that you don't have to do much. Nod your head, give a couple of bruchos.

Where do I sign up?

PS: Rebbes wear the coolest gear!

Updated: Cool and Uncool Frum Gear

2008-11-19T22:11:00.002-05:00

As a Sephardi, there isn't much that I wear as a token of religion other than a Kipa and Tzizit.

Ashkenazim and Chassidim have all the fun getting dressed up. Some stuff is cool swag and some items..well, they're hot. Literally.

Cool Swag:

Gartel

I like Kittels too.

On the other hand...

Shtreimels earn my envy only on the winter. Well, not that Shtreimel. He's cool all year round :P

I am anti-snood. Yech. Da Wife never wears one.

What kind of gear do you like/dislike?

Updated: Reb Michoel reminded me about Talisim or Talitot as I call them.

Talitot are cool...Unless you get the heavier weave (Like the Turkish or Kemo Turkish). Then you're just another smelly fiend.

I also really like Ataras. Yes, they seem shmaltzy and arrogant. But the silver sparkles so!

Boxes of silver on Black Velvet rock!

Not for Orthodoxy: Change We Can Believe In

2008-11-15T17:56:00.000-05:00

While cleaning my house Friday afternoon, I had the following thought:

Why were Orthodox Jews (myself included) uncomfortable with the idea of electing Obama ?

I submit to you that Obama's slogan "Change we can believe in" encapsulates my explanation.

We, as Orthodox Jews, are not encouraged to be forward and progressive thinkers. The word itself, "Orthodox" denotes the following:

"Orthodox"

Conforming to the established, accepted or traditional faith or religion.
Adhering to whatever is traditional, customary or generally accepted.

The whole basis of our Orthodox Judaism is to preserve the ideas set down by Moshe at Har Sinai over 3000 years ago. Change is not our cup of tea.

Hence, we preferred the Conservative candidate, John McCain, who was all about tradition, serving the country and maintaining the status quo. "Change" , for better or for worse, is Mr. Obama's ideal.

Progressive movements such as Reform, Conservative, Modern Orthodoxy and others prefer change and welcome it. Therefore, they welcomed the Democratic candidate and voted for him.

P.S. Cleaning = Deep thoughts= more cleaning.

Breaking News! The Knish has released a new issue

2008-11-13T13:44:00.003-05:00

Mordy Ovits, contributing editor of The Knish emailed me just now announcing that a new issue has been published....

Rabbosai!! Its hilarious, its funny, its insane...so what are you waiting for- go check it out!

The Knish!!

General Shwag

2008-11-11T21:48:00.007-05:00

Many thanks and apologies for not responding to the 20 comments left on my previous post. Some interesting points were brought up and will be addressed in a future post.

....

I am officially employed ( Applause) . Went back to the job I had before venturing into the jewelry industry. Many thanks to D.S. for making it happen. You da man.

It's a bit weird, fielding questions of why I'm back but its all good. I feel welcome by co-workers and bosses alike, enjoy the work and that's what is important.
...........

This is how we chill:

.....

What the hell is up with the "Obama-Worshipping" ? Seriously, the daily rags are blabbing about "he went there, he did that". Give us a break, eh?

Its not like Obama is the Messiah, right? Or is he?

Hat-tip: Bray of Fundie and Lakewood Falling Down.

What we do for our children....

2008-11-05T22:24:00.003-05:00

Why is it that parents will sacrifice everything for their children? We give up sleep, time, money and much more for the kids. Why?

I submit to you that it is connected to mankind's most deepest and most basic instinct: To cling to life at all costs. A person will do whatever it takes to remain among the living.

In a nutshell, children are the ultimate expression of life. They are in fact the continuation of our soul and body. Hence we do whatever it takes to make sure the offspring succeeds in life.

4 years ago, Nov. 4.....

2008-11-04T09:25:00.004-05:00

Four years ago, we got married.

My love, thank you for saying yes.

How do you like her new diamond earrings? Only the best for Da Wife.

P.S. if anyone wants to know where I got these diamond earrings, contact me. Great service and price.

Don't vote for Obama since he is a Benei Cham!!!!

2008-11-02T21:41:00.001-05:00

Unbelievable.

The shit that people hurl during a political campaign is simply staggering.

We had over on Shabbos someone from my Shul together with his wife. During the meal, the conversation drifted towards the presidential campaign.

Some unsavory tidbits:

"Obama is the new Hitler" ( WTF!!!)

"Even the Jews voted for Hitler in the beginning"

Seriously people, maybe you don't agree with his policy and perhaps his economic plans trouble you but lets calm the fuck down, eh?

I like what the great blogger Jack wrote about how people treat each other based on their political views.

The topping on the cake is this, hat-tip to Malach HaMovies:

Da Malach was in Shul in Flatbush this past Shabbos and he heard the following statement from the rav:

"I'm not going to tell you who to vote for but it is well known that "Benei Cham" are unable/supposed to become kings."

Can I get a what what??

Random Thoughts- Do They Have Meaning?: Politics- I Don't Care

Casaer the Second: My New Fish!

2008-11-01T23:15:00.002-04:00

After a suitable period of morning for my pet fish Caesar,(click here for obituary and here for general info) I drove out to Chinatown to buy a successor.

Why Chinatown?

Well, as far as I'm concerned, the local pet fish stores in Brooklyn are a bunch of greedy scumbags who will sell you the wrong kind of fish and basically rip you off.

Enter "Win Tropical" located in Chinatown. Its a small cozy shop where the proprietor, a gentleman named Robert, treats you with respect and honesty. He carries a variety of fish, amongst them high quality Betta's of the "Half Moon" breed.

After much deliberation, I picked out a gorgeous specimen.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present "Strawberry Fields" otherwise known by his formal title "Caesar the Second".

Right now I am keeping a close eye on him, checking his water stats so that he would not succumb to ammonia poisoning like Caesar the First.

The King is dead! Long live the King!

UPDATED: Frummie Motzei Shabbos Syndrome: Where my Pizza at?

2008-10-27T22:30:00.001-04:00

Why is it that I find myself going out for Pizza on Motzei Shabbos?

Perhaps it is the insidious influence of the common-yet-unspoken-of affliction better known to Brooklynites as .....

The infamous "Frummie Motzei Shabbos Syndrome"...

Lets get real. This is a huge problem....we all need to know where to sate this inexplicable desire to consume quality quantities of Pizza in Brooklyn (and elsewhere).

I posted a status update on Facebook and Twitter ( Yes, I'm on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Jacobdajew) regarding this syndrome and the comments just poured in:

Headbanger: "well the 16 buck pie at pizza nosh is the best pizza on earth. 15 at simonsez and 14 at kosher hut."

Gitty Levy.: "G-d bless you but the best New York pizza was from 18th ave Kosher Pizza on the corner of 18th and 50th. Before it became Mendels. Had the best calzone and blintzes to die for."

Topp Dawgy: "mendelsohns makes great pizza.. if u want a great calzone amnons in boro park is to die for."

So let the battle begin. Who makes the better pie?

Pizza stores will be graded on a few things: Price, Quality, Service and Overall Taste.

I'll fire the opening round:

Pizza World: Price: $ 18.99 ( a bit high), Quality ( Good, well baked crust- not too thick, not too thin. Plenty of cheese) Service was quick and Overall Taste was good. Final Grade: A-

Simon Sez: I went there once for their Motzei Shabbos Special- 15 dollars a pie. Price: Good. Quality ( Very thin crust, ate 4 slices as if they were 2) Service was quick and Overall taste was ok. Final Grade: B

Pizza Nosh: After da Headbanger recommended eating there, I drove over. Bought a pie, half regular and half garlic(don't ask). Price: $17.95 ( A bit high as I only got a half a pie with toppings)
Quality: ( Very thick crust, doughy, not alot of cheese) Service was quick and Overall Taste was meh. Final Grade: B--

I'm going to let other people grade Amnon's, Mendelsohns, Mendels, Pizza Hut, Pizza Time and all the others. The post will be updated in order to include well-written reviews.

This post has been sponsored by the Doggy Fizzle Foundation.

Updated: Shmenglepuss aka Headbanger has this to say:

"For what you're getting at Mendelsohns (sugar sauce and lack of cheese), their prices are ghastly. And the old man at the checkout needs to learn what the word retirement means because the long line is always credited to him.

I think Jacobs pizza nosh visit would have been better during the week because motzei sabbath is always a rushed atmosphere and they have lots of folks to feed, hence not the best pies.

The only good thing I have to say about Amnons is that if I want pizza at 2 in the morning, theyre open.

I think he meant to say "kosher" hut up there. I like them, and its the cheapest place in town. The man knows how to keep a line moving by yelling at undecisive people.

J2's- WAY overrated. Always good to know there's a side order of roaches upon request. I still think people eat there mainly because of the location.

Pizza Time- Another Bill Gates eatery. I avoid. I'm done the mains. If I see some more suggestions maybe I'll comment on them."

And new commentator on da blog Sally Hazel adds her two cents:

Chadash, J 2 (or whatever that Pizza on J and 13th is called), Pizza Nosh are all good for those who are very hungry.

Pizza time is great but not for motz shabbat as lines there are too long.

Pizza World has quite tasty pizza.

Kosher Pizza palace- ok.

Rami's Pizza Express- quite tasty AND quick.

Mendelsohn's and Amnon's - yay, if you are in BP. (Ditto for the one in Mill Basin- if you are in MB...)

This Pisses me off: Bloomberg defies term limits and re-writes the law with help of his mega bucks

2008-10-24T00:27:00.002-04:00

Geez, what a long title.

But that's how I see it. Bloomberg should NOT be able to run a third time.

It's not about whether he is or is not a good mayor. Its not about "the tough times" bedeviling the market. I happen to like what he's done with certain things, most notably creating the "311" hotline.

It is about "term limits" and how he circumvented the basic fabric of democracy.

Wikipedia: "A two-term limit was imposed on New York City Council members and citywide elected officials (except for district attorneys) in New York City after a 1993 referendum (see the Charter of the City of New York, §1138)."

As Chaim puts it "First of all, twice in recent memory they had the voters vote on this and twice we, the people, voted against this. People do NOT want this term limit lifted. In 2001, after 9/11 there was a quiet movement to try to extend term limits so that Rudy could run again, and many people said no. Among those many people was Michael Bloomberg himself."

And here is Bloomberg himself stating one must respect term limits:

I remember when people wanted Rudy to keep on being the Mayor in the dark days after Sept 11. The difference in this case is that Bloomberg has the deep pockets to buy the council members' votes like Simcha Felder's to amend the law (Hat-Tip: Queens Crap):

I have a problem with his bending of the rules with the clout of his money and influence to such extremes. Its really up to the voters to decide who should be the next mayor.

Finally, I think that Mike wants to use the mayoral position to springboard to Governor or even president. Currently, the political environment is not right for that move.

He understands that right now the main thing he needs to do is stay in the public eye until the time is favorable for his next target and the most efficient way way of doing so is by remaining the mayor of New York City.

Cover your Matzav!!

2008-10-23T11:42:00.000-04:00

Hesh has this funny post up about "What words did your Rabbi use to teach Sexual topics?" .

It reminded me of how my Brother in Law deals with private matters. Being a Yeshiva Bocher, he is uncomfortable with any overt sexual terms.

Instead he says "his matzav" which translates into "his/the situation".

I find this hilarious. Consider this: In Israel, in da hood, if someone wanted drugs, he would ask "Yesh Matzav?" .

As I see it, both crowds are obsessed with certain things.

Call me da Kugel Man

2008-10-22T23:26:00.000-04:00

I was reading Lakewood Falling Down's post about how he hates his Shul. It got me thinking, why do I like my Shul and he hates his?

For me, it boils down to one main thing: Acceptance.

Both he and I are outside-the-box kind of people. I do not wear a hat on Shabbos, don a knitted black kipa and daven in an Ashkenzi Shul while observing Sephardic customs. It seems that LFD also does not feel wanted in his Shul by the local Hockers.

Most people would think that I would not fit in. They would be right.

But here's the catch: The guys in Shul in fact celebrate my diversity and consider it a positive thing.

The Rabbi allowed me to read an aliyah from my bar-mitzvah parsha even though I read it in the Sephardic custom.

The Gabbai honored me with an Aliyah on Simchat Torah night. When I went up, one of the none regular members standing by the bimah asks me "Nu, where's your hat?" , to which the Gabbai replied by hushing him and other members of the Shul came over to me afterwards to express their discomfort of that man's action.

It's been a year since I wrote this post: No longer will I be without a Shul. and it has stood the test of time.

As a sign of respect and gratitude for the warm welcome, my thoughts were to sponsor Kiddush (or Quiddush, as Ben Yehudah would say ) .

Usually, there is just cake and some scotch. I remember saying to myself that at least there should be Kugel as one can be in Shul until 1:30-2:00 pm. Just cake ain't gonna cut it.

I bought a tray of 60 pieces of Kugel from Flatbush Takeout on Coney Island Avenue, took my Shabbos hot plate from my house and set it up with the help of other members of the Shul. I also brought a bottle of Famous Grouse as it seemed that the usual donor would not be bringing a bottle this year.

People were ecstatic. The Kugel was perfect- piping hot, mildly peppery with a nice crust. The children especially enjoyed it.

I also bought Chassan Maftir and honored the family that introduced me to the Shul with the Aliyah. That also went over very well.

So here's what I suggest to people who are unsatisfied with their current synagogue: Don't settle. Look around, try to find a place that you feel welcome and accepted for who you are.

The Crown Heights Scene:Bleh

2008-10-20T00:26:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, I rolled in to Crown Heights with my main man KB and we had a blast. Dropping into random farbengen, drinking massive quantities of Wodka and generally enjoying the free spirit of the Simchas Beis Hosheeva.

This year, I called up Hesh and we decided to hit the town together. Things really did not take off well. Maybe its because I'm older and married and not really interested in the various skanks and ho's floating around. Maybe its because we didn't find one decent Succah that welcomed us in.

So I left at about 2am or so. I did have work the next day and of course the kids wake up occasionally during the night.

Next day, Hesh lets me know that the shit went down AFTER I left. Gee, that's just swell :(

Check out his blog for a massive post complete with photos of the beatdown. I took a few pics and vid of hesh dancing (still uploading), below:

Da Meshichists hoisting on of their banners

Hocker Central: The Shomrim "Command" Post

Video of Hesh dancing in da streets

Did I do the right thing?

2008-10-19T23:32:00.000-04:00

Usually, Da Wife yells at me why I always forget to buy the seven Hoshanos for Hoshana Rabba.

This year, I drove to Landau's Shul on Ave L figuring that they had some guys peddling Aravos.

There were two stands there. I walked over to one table and requested 2 bundles, one for myself and one for Da Wife. Five bucks each.

As I'm handing over the money and completing the transaction, someone from the Shul comes up to these guys and yells at them to move their table elsewhere.

He explained that the Gabbai of the Shul, a fine man (I agree), sets up a table to earn some money from the sales of Hoshanos and they must not interfere.

I promptly turned to the "interlopers" and requested my money back which they did, albeit some grumbling. Then I turned around and bought 2 other bundles from the Gabbai's table.

Did I do the right thing? Should I have just let things lie as they were and walk away or was it good that I am helping out the Gabbai make a few dollars?

Discuss.

Update: Da Child Ish explains that essentially I've flushed ten bucks for nuttin'.

How to keep the Aravos and Hadassim fresh?

2008-10-18T20:45:00.003-04:00

How do you keep your Hadassim and Aravos fresh and not wilted?

Some suggestions I've heard over the years entail wrapping them in newspaper or a wet towel but then it gets moldy.

So lets hear...

Watching my first Presidential Debate

2008-10-15T23:47:00.001-04:00

I just watched my first Presidential Debate via ABC.com.

Impressions:

McCain: Out to draw blood and on the attack. Is sincere but not too articulate, hard to understand at times. I loved his closing remarks about "serving his country his whole life".

Is he that serious about giving 5000 bucks a family for health insurance costs? Nah.

Obama: Very very well spoken. Gave the impression of being the front runner.

Is he serious about obligating students who receive financial assistance to participate in community service? Nah.

Right now, my personal concerns are about health insurance (don't have any right now) and the economy. Democrats usually throw more money that way....but don't worry about my vote, I already missed the deadline to register. Bad boy.

What did you think of the last debate and of the candidates in general and their respective running mates Palin (is she Jewish) and Biden?

SHE GOT POTTY POWER!!!

2008-10-12T01:18:00.003-04:00

Finally...

Da Gurlie starting using her potty! The breakthrough came as I was sleeping my well-earned Shabbos nap. My daughter woke me up "Make ah potty!"

We've been trying for a few months now without success. What a relief.

I think a few things helped her to do the deed.

1. The Lion of Zion lent us a DVD named "Potty Power" which my daughter proceeded to watch a half billion times and run around the house yelling "Potty Power!"

2. We bought her a little grab bag of panties from Children's Place which she played with.

3. Heavy mentioning of bribes: A Trip to the zoo, ice cream and getting to wear underwear on a regular basis featured prominently among them. Again, this idea was mainly the Lion's. Thanks, dude. And yes, she got her ice cream ASAP.

Still plenty of work but the big breakthrough has happened.

Somech: A lesson in humility

2008-10-09T22:45:00.001-04:00

First, the finishing times.

We finished at night at 8:45 pm, Mussaf was over at 2:00. Grand Finale over at 7:10pm.

What time did y'all finish?

For a couple of years, I was the Somech, otherwise known as an assistant cantor, at the Achi Ezer Torah Center on Yom Kippur.

Then I didn't pray there for 2 years. This year, I decided to drive over before the fast, walk back home after Tefilah at night, walk back over in the morning and then drive home after Yom Kippur.

Basically, its a 20 minute walk from where I live now. Its a great crowd, the Chazzan is phenomenal and its relatively quick. When I lived thereabouts, I went more often but now its too much to walk on a regular basis.

So, when I came by this year, people seemed to recognize me but couldn't place my face. I like being Somech but I'm not about to run after the honor.

Please note: Selichot is different between Sephardim and Ashkenazim. The Sephardim have certain portions given out to members of the Knis (Shul) which makes IMHO for a more interactive and enjoyable experience.

So the Chazzan throws me a verse to sing which I then proceeded to hit outta the ballpark. A couple of guys peer at me and start arguing if I was indeed the same guy who used to come by more frequently.

So I strutted home thinking to myself "Oh, you're hot stuff" etc. The next day, during Shacharit, the Rabbi motions to me to the Tevah (Bimah) to assist the Chazzan.

However, I tanked.

I was out of practice, out of tune and not in sync with the Kahal. Saying to myself "Dude, stop trying to pretend that you're on top of your game still", I went back to my seat castigating myself.

Then, by Mincha, a senior member of the Shul motioned to me to get up there again.

"What!! I'm rusty, no good!"

He just grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up.

This time however, since I wasn't full of hot air, it came out pretty good. My voice was clear and people were touched. I didn't get all full of myself since my bubble popped already.

Finally, by Neilah, the holiest of prayers, the Rabbi motioned to me yet again. Apparently, the Chazzan was a Kohen and could not recite the verses for "Kohanim". So the Rav wanted me to.

What??

I was in awe. That I should do Birchat Kohanim? For Neilah? Something I've never ever done? The only time in the year?

Wow. I was so in shock, so humbled by the way I was first deflated and then brought up again that I put my heart into it.

"VeYeshmerecha..."

"VeYechunekah"

"Shalom"...

Definitely a Yom Kippur to remember and treasure.

Check out my post about last year's Yom Kippur, where things didn't go too well: Because there no garantees in life.

Why I hate about driving in Brooklyn

2008-10-07T08:50:00.000-04:00

I make no secret of the fact that I hate to drive in Brooklyn.

Yesterday, Hesh and I were driving to see a movie, "Burn After Reading" and he remarked "Dude, you look really pissed off driving".

Why?

People either drive too fast or too slow. Geez, get a move on, Grandma!
I hate it when they do illegal U-Turns on Coney Island Ave. Don't these morons understand that people have DIED because of these actions? I'm not talking about "mach-ing ah U-ey" at 3 am. I'm talking rush hour.
The complete lack of parking.
Traffic agents and Meter Maids aka "Brownies". Useless pieces of vermin. They make things worse.
My pet peeve and the things that pisses me off the most: People in SUVs who shine their fucking brights in the city. Just the thought makes me clench my fists.

One of these days, I'm going to borrow Frum Punk's brass knuckles and smash those stupid beams. And then I'll post it on YouTube :P

The Late Savior

2008-10-04T20:46:00.001-04:00

I'm usually late to my Shul.

There are two main reasons. One is that basically I get bored sitting for 2 plus hours.

The second reason is because our kids wake up at weird hours and usually Da Wife gets up for them. But she too needs her sleep so when I wake up at 8am or so, I watch them until 9am to give her an hour to relax.

The guys in Shul know me by now and so have my Talis waiting for me by my seat. I know, they rock.

Having said all this, allow me to explain the title of my post, "The Late Savior".

As is my custom, I rolled into Shul about 35, no make that 45-50 minutes late to observe an uproar. Apparently, the Chazzan said during the Chazarah"Moreed HaGeshem" instead of "Moreed HaTal". I don't get WHY he made that mistake, we're in the middle of the summer but hey, it happens.

So the Rav runs over to me "Yaakov, don't daven Shmonah Esrei yet!"

He paskened that after the Torah reading, I would say over the Chazarat Ha'Shatz out loud and be yoetzi everyone.

And so I did. It wasn't easy as I am used to praying as a Sefaradi and the Kedusha and other things are different but we managed.

So there you have it: being late saved the day!

Compliments and Complaints

2008-10-02T23:36:00.002-04:00

I'm not the type to fish around for compliments or complaints about my writing. I just do my thing and so be it.

However, recently, some bloggers wrote a couple of interesting reviews about my style so I decided to post some of the comments on my sidebar.

So while we're at it, what do YOU like about the blog?

Complaints? Compliments? Any topic or issue that you would like to be showcased? Or not?

So let's hear. Here's your chance to influence management.

Your comment might even make onto da sidebar.